38 Comments
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Mark Leo's avatar

Kyle Sandilands exists….. you have a loooooooooong way to go to be the worst radio host in Australia….

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Stephanie's avatar

I dunno, Mark. Kyle never timed out to the news a whole minute early, causing dead air alarms to go off across the station

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Jennifer de Bohun's avatar

I am smiling. And you survived! That's a win-win.

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Stephanie's avatar

BARELY survived…..!!!!!

But so glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks for the comment.

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Alex Kerr's avatar

I was thinking of not commenting in honour of your time in the Kimberley, but thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Probably because I am in a similar situation where my boss and colleagues ignore my existence, so empathise with how terrible it feels. Have just resigned & counting the days.

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Stephanie's avatar

Honestly? That’s what made it so hard. I had good friends at the station, but my work was largely ignored.

I realised that year the importance of acknowledging people’s effort - I think it made me a better manager when that time came.

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Focal Bonsai's avatar

Reading this filled me with so much anxiety, nicely written

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Stephanie's avatar

Hahahahahahahah - what a great comment. Thank you. Glad to have made you anxious.

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National Security Desk's avatar

I have no idea how this got into my feed but I loved it. It reminds me of something I wrote a while back about Australia. "When you live there you are conscious of an outside world but it feels too far away to matter. The beach, the pub, sunburn and sport dominate middle class life. It is idyllically boring." In time, I came to see paradise as maybe not so boring. Perhaps you will end up in Broome?

https://thirdoffset.substack.com/i/160645084/the-second-test-case-australia

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Stephanie's avatar

I would also love to know how it ended up in your feed. I think the substack algorithm is a mystery even to itself.

Idyllically boring is a lovely way of putting it. But Broome… probably not my forever home. Way too remote, even for an Australian like me.

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Chris ❤ 🏳‍🌈 (CDN) he/him 50+'s avatar

You are, at least, the second substack person in Vietnam

.... yaall should have a party and post a Pic for us housebound homebodies

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Stephanie's avatar

I am way, way, way too sweaty for photos.

I’m also likely to come back to Australia 20 kilos heavier thanks to all the incredible food here…!

Dangerous!

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Arthur Sanders's avatar

Sometimes you have to make your own news. Up here in Norway a former editor, now journalist, took part in a bicycle race and got injured. He even made the regional papers!

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Stephanie's avatar

Lucky you didn’t give me this advice when I was in radio. I might have thought it was a good idea.

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Autonomous Truck(er)s's avatar

You ought have hit up the road train drivers going by for news from the road, or the latest from the Grey Nomads parked on Cable Beach and sunbathing in the nude.

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Stephanie's avatar

You know, the only time I got calls was when I networked to the Pilbara. Truck drivers were great on the phones. Until they crossed into the Kimberley, it seems.

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Autonomous Truck(er)s's avatar

Lots of them working the port of Dampier, busier spot than Broome.

Bummer you didn’t get a live feed from the Mermaid Hotel on a Sunday night.

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Autonomous Truck(er)s's avatar

Here’s me and a fella who hauled a few loads into Port Hedland having a bit of a yarn.

https://open.substack.com/pub/autonomoustruckers/p/comparing-notes-on-issues-in-trucking

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PhilsThom's avatar

You made me laugh. It reminded me of my time spent in country radio. I still have the occasional nightmare that I am locked in one of the studios with just one 45 record to play and I have to make stuff up and make it sound interesting for an hour.

If I close my eyes I can still see the record label - yellow and black, Reg Lindsay singing Armstrong.

(I DID say country radio)!

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Stephanie's avatar

If you don’t have reoccurring nightmares, did you even do radio?

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PhilsThom's avatar

So true. 😂😂😂

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Marty Smiley's avatar

This really hit

Very funny

Your Kimberly era sounds lit

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Stephanie's avatar

I think being a radio host might be a universally shit experience…?

I mean great sometimes. But also really fucking hard.

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Maggie Jon's avatar

I lived in Australia for 4 years but backpacked around for a bit. I can imagine it was difficult to find something 😅

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Stephanie's avatar

Yah. And Broome is REMOTE remote. Closest town is a four hour drive away, and is much smaller. Nearest city is a 20 hour drive……

Funny how a place with so much open space can start to feel claustrophobic.

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Maggie Jon's avatar

Yep, I understand. For some people that means peace which is beautiful, but I also can't do it...

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John Birmingham's avatar

Hahahaha. I filled in the lunchtime shift at ABC Brisbane for six weeks and pulled that same UFO stunt.

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Stephanie's avatar

Doesn’t count unless you also got dragged on Media Watch, and had to endure MONTHS of people tagging you on their social media videos.

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Karola's avatar

Thanks for the chuckle! There was so much gold in here, I was going to pick out a couple of sentences but ended up almost quoting the whole article!

Enjoy your trip!

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Des's avatar

Very funny reading Steph, with clear undertones of excruciating pain. Sounds like the best episode of Survivor never aired on mainstream.

The fact that Media Watch needed you as their “croc sighting” shows how barrels large and small need to be scraped. But then again, does the new Broome ever sweep clean?

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Gabe McGrath's avatar

Stephanie, there's some beautiful stories there. And as always, expertly written.

I too have an Aussie regional announcing past. And yes, like many others the 'nothing works in the studio' horrors haunted my dreams. The good news is I had the final one about two decades later. So you've got (*does the maths) 13 years to go. Hang in there.

In my case, the dreams were probably punishment deserved. Doing 'mid-dawns' in Lismore, I was supposed to 'time up' the last hour so the final song faded neatly into the 6am news. Alas I'd forget each day, and quickly shove on "Happiness" by Pizzaman (Fatboy Slim's earliest hit.) Of course, being 99% instrumental, I could fade it down anytime with hardly anyone noticing.

Except the boss, who happened to be listening to the breakfast show one morning. Ooops.

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Virtually Annie's avatar

This was one of the funniest things I’ve read all week.

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