The Fast and the Spurious

On Andrew Hastie’s flawed vision for Australia.

Andrew Hastie — a man who very much appears to be making a tilt at Liberal Party leadership — recently put out one of the stupidest videos I’ve ever seen online. That’s no small feat. I’ve been on the internet for as long as there has been an internet. I’ve seen all manner of dumb things on the world wide web, including that video of Mr Hands being rogered by a horse.

But Mr Hands, at least, was only acting like a fool. Andrew Hastie is treating us like one.

In the video, posted on Hastie’s social media accounts, the 42-year-old politician leans against a 1967 Ford Falcon GT.

“Check this car out,” He says. “It’s horsepower, it’s heritage, it’s grit. It’s an Aussie car made by Aussie workers for the Australian people.”

There’s some old footage next, of factories and workers. Hastie then talks about how we used to make cars in Australia, and then race them. He speaks without any authority on the topic, with the same affected nonchalance of an undercover cop trying to buy drugs.

When the camera cuts back to Hastie, he’s crouched next to the GT’s front wheel, for some reason. He looks uncomfortable. You get the impression Hastie also doesn’t know why his knee is on the gravel, but it’s something he thinks the owner of an Australian-made car might do.

Whatchya doing down there, buddy?

“We’re being told that we could forget our past forever… [The Labor Party] want to fill our streets with silent, soulless cars made in China, packed with tech that we didn’t design and that we don’t control.”

More shots of cars. And lo! We cut back to Hastie who is back on his feet again. Maybe standing was a better idea after all.

“ We’re a nation of flat white makers when we could be making beautiful cars like this again. And in order to do that, we need cheap energy… do we want to unlock our energy potential, make the most of our coal, make the most of our gas, and produce things again? If you want that, let’s go.”

Perhaps the most embarrassing thing about this entire, unconvincing performance are those last two words. Hastie is trying to make ‘let’s go’ a catch phrase – he’s already used it on a couple of social media posts. This has the same flavour of giving yourself an nickname, and then insisting that people refer to you by it. But I will concede that ‘let’s go’ is a suitably insipid and meaningless phrase for such a milquetoast man.

But let’s put aside the fact Hastie – a person who went to school at Scots College and then decided to join the Liberal Party – is cynically pretending to be a muscle-car-loving bloke. It’s hard, but try.

Instead let’s focus on what he’s saying – that Australia shouldn’t have gotten rid of manufacturing and we should still be making cars here.

On this point we’re in total agreement.

If you care about the environment, local manufacturing should be a priority. Like it or not, all cars in Australia do a fair whack of damage before anyone turns the ignition on, thanks to emissions-heavy shipping.

As an actual car fan (and not someone putting on an ill-fitting costume) few things would make me happier than a miraculous resurrection of Holden. They made occasionally flawed, occasionally brilliant cars with genuine character.

But those glory days are thoroughly dead and buried. The perpetrator of this crime – as Hastie well knows – was the Liberal party.

It all happened in the early 2010s when former Prime Minister Tony Abbott (who also happens to be Hastie’s occasional mentor) decided to play hardball with the owner of Holden, automotive giant General Motors.

The American manufacturer had done the maths, and realised they were losing money on every Holden they made. There were a few factors at play, but it wasn’t helping that the Australian dollar was at a historical high. Workers did what they could to get Holden through that anomalous time, including a three-year wage freeze. But in the end, the only thing that could keep car manufacturing in Australia was a hefty Government subsidy.

The Liberal party declined to front up the money. The old Adelaide Holden factory is now a mushroom farm.

Personally, I think this whole episode was a travesty. Not just because we lost an Australian icon. We also lost jobs, expertise, and a gamut of associated industries But even then I can still see the other side of the argument. Should taxpayer money have gone towards propping up an unprofitable business – particularly one that’s foreign owned? Yes, according to Hastie. But only if it’s politically expedient.

Isn’t the Liberal Party supposed to believe in free markets?

What is missing in Andrew Hastie’s little jaunt down memory lane is any material plan for returning manufacturing to Australia. Unless, of course, you count that spiel in support of the Liberal Party’s favourite protected industry, mining, as a plan.

How, precisely, is the fossil fuel industry (which Australia kept afloat last year with $14.5 billion of subsidies) going to bring back Holden? Does he think Santos will start building car factories? Or does he want the Government to start making cars? I’d rather walk barefoot over glass.

But it’s not just details Hastie is missing. He’s also missing conviction.

The Australian newspaper published a blistering piece by Judith Sloan about his calls to bring back car manufacturing. Like a low-tier influencer in a feud, Hastie posted his reply on Instagram. On one slide he wrote:

“Apparently I want to resurrect the car industry from the dead. Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t”

Well which one is it, Hastie? This is a strange time to be coy. You’re the one who started this discussion when you said – and I’m quoting here – “ We’re a nation of flat white makers when we could be making beautiful cars like this again”.

Also, are those really our only two choices? Cars or flat whites? Is his ideal version of this country one where we all drive Australian-made V8s while chewing on raw coffee beans?

Andrew Hastie is a man who is, by all reports, currently trying to oust Sussan Ley and become the new leader of the Liberal Party. He might succeed. In truth, Hastie could be the perfect choice for a party with no vision. When you lack the courage and imagination to look forward, you’re forced to rely on cheap nostalgia.

Let’s go? Sure. Shame the Liberal Party is stuck in reverse.