Is it too much to ask politicians not to sext at work?

Some thoughts on Mark Latham's recent transgressions

Mark Latham may be a lot of things, but you can’t deny he’s a savvy operator.

Dozens of sexually explicit text messages he sent while sitting in parliament were published in media outlets a couple of weeks ago. It’s damning stuff. The revelations landed on top of another explosive story: the same partner had accused Latham of abuse – allegations he strenuously denies.

But the text messages, at least, were substantiated.

So where better to air his side of this workplace incident than on Chris Smith’s breakfast radio show?

Smith, of course, has had not one, but two very public falls from grace, both involving inappropriate drunken behaviour towards women at work functions. He now sits in exile at local radio station 2SM.

Now, 2SM may be a bad-take factory, but it does serve an important civic duty. It gives irrelevant men a place to air their appalling views, without the risk of anyone hearing them.

It’s no surprise, then, that Smith was a sympathetic ear when Latham admitted he’d been sending dirty texts while at his taxpayer-funded job.

“If I’m the only person in Australia who in a work environment has engaged in a bit of playful sex talk with their partner, then I’ll buy everyone a lottery ticket tomorrow,” Latham said, to a politely chuckling Smith.

So yes, Latham was sexting while at work, while in Parliament, and while surrounded by other people who were actually doing their job. But in his defence, Latham says, the person he was texting was hot.

“If you’re sitting there listening to Penny Sharpe droning on, and then a woman who looks like Nathalie Mathews sends you a message, which one would you pay attention to?”

This is a dangerous line of thinking for a man who looks like Latham. If Australians only paid attention to the people they wanted to see naked, where would that leave him?

Smith, of course, did not follow this line of thinking. Instead, he sympathised.

“I am guilty of that on a regular occasion,” Smith replied.

Yes we know, Chris. That’s why you’re on 2SM.

“Well, I’m guilty too of being human in that regard. And male. MPs can be human, too.” Latham replied.

Now I’m a realist. I’ve worked in media many years, and know politicians to be human and, therefore, fallible.

However, there are many reasonable standards of behaviour imposed on regular citizens which some politicians – at both a State of Federal level – seem incapable of meeting. If we can’t expect MPs to pay attention, stay awake and not be drunk during office hours, can we at least ask that they don’t send horny text messages to their girlfriends while sitting in Parliament? Please?

It feels like we already set the bar so low. If we bring it down much further, we’ll be clawing at the ground, and halfway to hell.

Perhaps we already are.

Being elected is both a great privilege and a great responsibility. As such, politicians should have professional conduct that exceeds normal standards. But here we are, seeing the reverse to be true.

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that, in most private companies, Latham’s behaviour would be reason for his employment to be suspended or terminated. Rightfully so.

I – a normal person in a normal job – expect that the person sitting next to me isn’t currently aroused because they’re sexting a partner. Ideally they’re not aroused at all. But if power play and punishment gets you off, I suppose many office environments would be sexual minefields.

The greatest scandal of this whole debacle, is that the public have had to know any details about Latham’s sex life at all. I’d rather watch blobfish root. It’s repugnant. He’s repugnant.

“u up? wyd?”

But it’s not just his own dignity that Latham has damaged, but that of our entire political system. Lord knows it’s holding on by a thread. If he has a skerrick of love for what should be the noble profession of politics, he should step down.

Give Latham a show on 2SM, let the circus move on, and us be free of it.